My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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