We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
