This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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