God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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