I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
