I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
