tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
