There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
