Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
