:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
