can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
