i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
