Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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