how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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