Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
