Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
