we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
