You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
