I wish i was in the wii world.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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