I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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