Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
