Small penises have feelings too.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The air taste purple.
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