That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize