Sponge bath it is.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
