Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
two words...techno handjob
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
