The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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