Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
