Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
