I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize