READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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