Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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