He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
