He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
