This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
