i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
