i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
