i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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