Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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