I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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