I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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