there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
