i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
