what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I supernannyed him into submission
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
