So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Too much gin, very little bucket
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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