And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
They have beer where we have blood.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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