The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
