i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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