Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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