ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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