we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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