You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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