All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
