I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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