We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize