I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm always down for nudity.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize