Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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