Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
