The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Nicole vs. Life
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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