He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
How's work?
Spinning.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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