I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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