So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
