Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
